A Coppers Rant

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The victims code. Wasn't I doing this anyway!?!

I am having so much fun at the moment with the Victims Code. We started out having to complete an e-learning package, which you had to do at work, interupted by being turned out to one emergency school child fight or the other. It had to be completed by a certain date or you had to go and see the Chief Inspector with a copy of the yellow pages down the back of your trousers. I managed to finish it at 04.30 hours whilst feeling as bright as a button and more than a little sore at missing out on the poker and DVD's!!! Then we were told off for not giving out victim code leaflets to victims, 'Why not!?' I hear you cry! because we hadn't been given any that's why and when I printed one from the internet I was told not to waste photocoping paper.

A few days later I dealt with a criminal damage where I tracked down 3 juvenile offenders, over the next 5 days I interviewed all 3 with parents, had them all cautioned and had a nice letter written to the Chief Super about how pleased the victim was with the service they had received. Boy, was I feeling like I had done a good job. Obviously the morale meter at the nick had gone off and a team of thousands was put to the task of making me feel rubbish again.

And so after a couple of rest days, unsuspectingly, I went to work and was met by the Sergeant, who on seeing my smug grin proceeded to chew me a new rectal passage, because the audit team at headquarters had returned my crime report as I hadn't put a **VC** box in the log and I hadn't informed the victim what had happened with the investigation. As I tried to explain that I had kept the victim informed the skipper stalked off down the corridor with steam pouring out of his ears muttering to himself.

I was perplexed as i hadn't got a clue what a **VC** box was, and only having completed my extensive training an few days before, I returned to the computer and re-did the learning package looking for the fabled **VC** box. I couldn't find the thing anywhere and as luck would have it got sent to a emergency domestic violence incident which turned out to be a neighbour dispute over children playing in their own back garden. Disgusting I know, where were the parents? I called the local paper but they were covering a boot fair at a golf club.

I asked colleagues about the **VC** box and was met with blank faces, which made me feel slightly better as I thought it was just me. Luckily I got an email from an officer in the crime management unit, who wouldn't be able to tie shoelaces without a 3 week course at headquarters and a weeks annual leave after, that boiled down to the fact that I hadn't done my job properly, that was a nice touch by the morale team.

Thankfully I was put out of my misery by an ad hoc training session at the late turn parade, by a employee whose job wasn't to give ad hoc training sessions and was a little out of his depth, bless him. The reason you have to put the **VC** box is so that the audit team don't have to actually read the crime report, just scan it for the **VC** box. So as long as you put**VC** box you can write stuff about pixies and chocolate steam engines as no ones going to read it anyway!!
It appears that whoever got paid more than me per year to write the e-learning package had forgotten to put it that it was imperative that you typed **VC** on the crime report whenever you made contact with the victim or it would be returned to the officer and any first born children would now be the property of the force control room ( it's the only way they can get any staff!). I'm sure that he/she will still get a Chief Constables commendation, so don't panic!
Mistery solved I hear you cry and boy did it make me feel better knowing I got ranted at for not doing something I didn't even have a clue existed. I have been reliably informed that It was my fault and I haven't the will or energy to argue it any more. I have now got to complete the 'How to apply oral suction to a chicken's foetal protective covering' e-learning package, hopefully whilst having a chinese for a quid!

Have I had an apology or the Chief Super waving the victims letter under my nose, inviting me into his office for a cuppa and a pat on the back?

What do you think!?!

3 Comments:

  • Just code everything VC... and wait for the next rant.. If they don't provide the correct training and you get fired...its down to the old constructive dismissal tribunal and plenty of ££ for you

    By Blogger Lennie Briscoe, at 4:49 AM  

  • I read police blogs from time to time but they frighten me. With all the problems you have from your own side (sic) I wonder you have the time or enthusiasm to deal with the real bad guys.

    By Blogger justajob, at 3:40 AM  

  • "justajob"...you are unfortunately right. I have been in law enforcement for 20 years in the United States. One of my Detectives and I were talking about how we get so much more stress and aggravation from our own people than we do from pursuing the bad guys.

    Wes
    www.truthsleuth.com
    www.statementanalysis.blogspot.com

    By Blogger Wes Clark, at 6:28 PM  

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